Summary: Avast ye scurvy wench!!! First salvo is hereby fired! Aaaarrrrrr! (I like this eyepatch and cutlass a LOT.) Less than 500 words, too! Take that! Prompts: Bowler hat and a pig. Shared condition: Hogwarts era.
This is my response to lilith1631 and her insane request for a drabble war. The rules:
1) 500 words or less
2) Two prompts.
3) One shared condition
4) Post in 3 days or less
5) Continues until lilith1631 begs for mercy and admits defeat
It was a chance meeting in, of all places, the Hufflepuff common room.
Draco sized up Harry Potter while the Gryffindor hero did the same to him. Draco did not want to ask. He really didn’t, but his damnable curiosity won out.
“Why are you carrying a pig, Potter?”
“It’s a bank. Why are you wearing a hat?”
“You Transfigured a bank into a pig?” Draco tried to imagine Gringott’s being turned into a garishly pink ceramic animal and could not quite accept the concept.
“It’s a coin bank, you idiot. Muggles use it to store coins.”
So Muggles chose to keep money inside of likenesses of dirty farm animals. It figured.
“The hat?” Potter prodded.
Draco sneered. “None of your business, Potter.” Now that his curiosity had been satisfied—mostly—he could go back to ignoring the Gryffindor. Where was that annoying Hannah Abbott, anyway?
“Oh come on, I told you about the bank.” Potter’s tone was light, almost wheedling. Draco blinked at him. He tried to recall if Potter had ever spoken to him in a civil tone before. Potter set the hideous pig on the table and stepped close to Draco. Too close. Draco stepped back and Potter followed, nearly stalking him. Draco stopped when the backs of his thighs touched an overstuffed chair.
Potter raised a hand as if to take off Draco’s bowler hat, but Draco yelped and held it on with both hands.
“What are you doing?” he demanded as Potter moved even closer. The prat actually stood between Draco’s legs! “This is an unacceptable invasion of my personal space, Potter. And keep your hands off my hat.”
“What are you hiding under there?” Potter asked. He was close enough that their breath mingled and damn it all, the cretin must have eaten Chocolate Frogs recently because he smelled delightful. “Hairline receding already?”
Draco squeaked in outrage. “You bas—!”
Potter’s lips fastening over his own abruptly cut off Draco’s snarl of rage. The shock kept him riveted in place. Unwillingly, he evaluated Potter’s kiss and decided it wasn’t awful. Potter definitely tasted like chocolate, which was never a bad thing. He raised his hands and put them on Potter’s chest to shove the presumptuous ass away, but then Potter’s tongue slipped beneath his lips and that was interesting enough to make him pause. It was even better when Potter’s hands wrapped around Draco’s hipbones and pulled him forward. Apparently Potter was very interested in him.
Hannah chose that moment to skip out of the girl’s dorm. Draco made a sound of protest and tore his lips away from Potter’s, but the Gryffindor did not release him.
“Thanks, Hannah,” Potter said. “It was worth every Galleon.”
Abbott scooped up the pig and grinned at Draco’s horrified look. “Sorry I can’t help you with your problem, Draco. Harry paid me to bring you here and I really want that topaz bracelet. Bye!”
Potter ignored the traitorous Hufflepuff and kissed Draco again.
Oops, ran out of words. Looks like we’ll never know why Draco was wearing the hat. Damn these drabbles!